I'm Moving On!

I think I've had a bit of an epiphany.  There are so many people in my life that I've let treat me badly, yet every time they showed a hint of goodness I would come crawling back. Well excuse my language, but fuck that. My ex treats his (my) friends like crap. He only calls maybe once every couple months, but when he does they act like they were never offended by his shadiness and become "best friends" again. Don't they realize they're making themselves weak? Why would you accept the friendship of someone who doesn't give a shit about you when there are so many other people in the world who can offer a meaningful relationship? By accepting this asshole you are giving him the power and telling him that his actions are okay as well as saying that you are so desperate that you are willing to accept a crappy person like him . Maybe next time he calls you should say screw you, you're not even worth the small amount of time you offer me. This isn't only my ex boyfriend, there are several people in my life who have treated me in some way similar to this. Not even by being distant, but by putting me down, etc. Now I think I'm finally becoming strong enough to put an end to relationships that aren't benefitting me and find relationships that will make me a happier and healthier person.

Smarter

3 AM, thinking again. I've been pretty happy the past couple days. Ever since cutting off all contact with the ex (meaning deleting him from my facebook friends..oh, what a world we live in) I've been feeling more..free. I'm no longer sulking over his latest photos and checking his updates, he's just off my mind (well, for the most part anyway.) Someone once told me  "People come into our lives for a reason, and then leave the same way." It's true. I've come to terms with the fact that there are times I spent with him that I won't forget. But for the most part this relationship was flawed and it was a learning process. I've learned so much about myself through the heart ache I've felt. I can be on my own and I can be okay. To quote a new Eisley song, "Even though I miss you, I'm thankful, it's obvious this one was futile... So put your hands together and clap for the painful choice you made 'cause it was right." 

The Beginning.

The last time I had a blog was 9th grade. I remember writing about my despairs over my 16 year old boyfriend, and my boredom with classes. I'm sure in 10 years I'll be saying this about my life right now, but if only I knew how easy I had it! For the past year and half my life has been a roller coaster of emotions. Besides leaving my graduating class and becoming one of 5,000 freshman at the Ohio State University, I also "fell in love" with an asshole that treated me like shit for the majority of our relationship. I was cheated on, put down, and I hung on like no other. Believe it or not, HE eventually called it quits. Now for the past 2 months I've been dealing with heartbreak, rejection, and the fear of moving out of parents house and having to comfort myself. So here I am. With the ups and downs I am experiencing, I believe writing out my emotions and experiences will help me further understand and manage my own feelings and maybe even improve the negative thoughts that are constantly running through my head. Let's hope this works!